Pancakes
by Emo Akatsuki Addict
Summary: Tobi finds Deidara making pancakes and starts getting kinky in the kitchen! Contains Tobi being a very naughty boy, a suggestive situation in a closet with Kakuzu and Hidan, and Hidan's lovely vocabulary. Rate and review!


Oh my god. This thing has been a work in progress for four frickin' years, and it's finally done. Good lord, my brain hurts -_-. I hope you guys love it! It's got TobiDei _and _a teeny splash of KakuHida butt-fuckery.

Deidara meandered down the hallway humming to himself. He was in an especially good mood today, for reasons unknown even to himself. He hadn't even blown anything up today, which was especially unusual for the young terrorist bomber.

Regardless of the reasons for his good mood, he felt like making pancakes, so that's what he was heading to do. Never mind that it was almost four in the afternoon. Nobody ever got up before five anyway unless they had a mission. Ah, weekends, how they were cherished.

He stepped into the kitchen and looked around. Funny, it looked like somebody had been there before him and had left in a hurry. There was a half empty bowl of cereal on the counter and a wet spoon on the floor. Mildly irritated, Deidara moved them to the sink and resolved to throw something at Hidan later, since he was the only one who ate cereal. He began searching for things to make the pancakes with as he pulled on an apron. He couldn't actually remember ever making his own, since Tobi or Itachi usually did the cooking around the base, but it couldn't hurt to try.

The first thing he grabbed was a pan. That seemed like a good place to start. Basic cooking utensils came next; a spatula, spoon, and measuring cups. He was about to venture to the cabinet to see if there was any flour when two long arms locked themselves around his waist, causing him to yelp and swing backwards with the spoon he was holding at about face height, aiming to get a good blow to the eye of whoever his assailant was.

_CLUNK._

He paused. Clunk? No squish of eyeball being crushed by spoon? He tilted his head back, and saw none other than his idiot of a partner Tobi, the spoon resting where his forehead would be beneath his irritatingly orange ceramic mask.

The taller man chuckled. "Sempai, that's not how you use a spoon." He teased.

Deidara huffed and tossed the spoon over to the counter. "Baka, un" he grumbled, trying to wriggle out of the black sleeved arms that were firmly clasped around him, but they were strong.

"You look so cute bustling around the kitchen like that, Deidara Sempai," Tobi said cheerfully, leaning down to where he was mask to nose with the bomber. "Tobi could definitely get used to seeing you in an apron."

"Fuck off, Tobi, un." Deidara said while blushing. Tobi was an idiot, but he was a dead sexy idiot, and being close to him was all Deidara needed to feel aroused.

One arm released the blond man's waist, reaching up to shift his mask off to the left, exposing the heavily scarred right side. In the ninja world, scars were usually an instant turn on. Tobi was self-conscious about his, but Deidara loved them.

Deidara shivered now as Tobi's thin, cold fingers traced his abs through his fishnet shirt, leaving the blond bomber with goose bumps all over. Tobi chuckled seeing the effect he had on his younger Sempai before he lowered his dark haired head and gently kissed the back of Deidara's neck. Sucking on the soft flesh slightly, he was rewarded with a soft moan and took it as a sign to continue, nibbling on the side of the Iwa nin's throat. As his older lover's teeth closed on his sweet spot, Deidara arched his head back and gripped the kitchen counter tightly, as if he might float away from the pleasure. A thin whine of pleasure escaped his perfect lips.

Tobi giggled this time, moving one hand up Deidara's stomach to his chest and pinching one pert nipple slightly through his shirt. At the same time, his other hand dipped down into the front of the blond's pants, firmly rubbing his manhood through his boxers.

Deidara's knees abruptly gave out and he slumped against the counter in front of him with a groan.

"T-Tobi…." The ninja gasped as his partner stroked him again, this time putting his long fingered hand inside the boxers and gripping Deidara's hot cock tightly while circling the weeping head with his skillful thumb, sending tremors of pleasure rippling through the bomber. Tobi bit down a little harder on his partner's collarbone, breaking the lightly tanned skin and lapping at the resulting blood seeping from the wound.

"Does sempai like it when Tobi does this?" The Uchiha innocently asked while squeezing Deidara's member gently.

Deidara groaned, his lean body screaming with the need to have his lover sheathed inside of him. He pressed his back against Tobi's chest, grinding his rear into the taller man's crotch, pleased to feel his partner's arousal straining against his pants. His Seme groaned sharply as Deidara did this and a grin appeared on his face.

"You liking that, Tobi?" the nineteen year old purred back at the older man.

"Uhhh…" was the only response he received as he continued to move against his partner. Deidara grinned wider and twisted in Tobi's arms, turning to grind his erection against Tobi's through their pants, causing Tobi to gasp sharply. The younger man enjoyed turning the tables like this so that Tobi was the one turning into a pleasure filled mess.

"Let's go back to my room," he purred into Tobi's scarred ear.

"Too far," Tobi growled, pulling Deidara towards the nearby kitchen closet.

As Tobi opened the door, gripping Deidara tightly around his rump, a very naked Hidan tumbled out on his back, Kakuzu right on top of him with his pants around his ankles and sunk up to the hilt of his dick in Hidan's ass.

"Um." Was all the Zombie twins could say as they stared up at the pair looking down at them in shock.

"Well, that's a total boner-killer, un." the blond grumbled in irritation, pulling away from Tobi and turning to leave the kitchen and go to his room. Tobi rushed after him.

"Sempai, wait! We can still do it! Just forget you saw them! Sempai? Please?"

"Huh uh, Tobi, un. Seeing that put me out of the mood. And off my appetite. I never did get my pancakes…"

"But I thought you were into gay porn. Just pretend it wasn't Kuzu-san and Hidan-kun. Sempai?"

"I said no, dammit! Un!"

As the couple's voices faded off down the hallway, the two on the floor looked at each other.

"I take it your mood's ruined too, huh?" Hidan asked the Taki nin glumly.

"Indeed."

"Fuck."

I'm writing a sequel chappie soon that has Kakuzu and Hidan's part! :3 I hope you guys liked this, seeing as it's only my third yaoi ever! Please rate and review, since this is my absolute favorite pairing in the world and I want to know if I did well!


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